Oh My Stars....How did I fall off the band wagon! AGAIN!!

OH MY STARS.....How did I fall of the wagon!!

Oh my stars....how did I fall of the wagon!  In the summer of 2006 we took a group of teenagers to Mexico on a mission trip and since I am the photographer there are not many pictures of me on this trip.  I was looking through them one day and noticed a woman with one of the beautiful people we were handing out beans and rice to and did not recognize her, upon further observation I realized that woman as me!!  How did I let myself get that big?  I weighed right at 210#! Stupid, stupid, stupid!!  I could see my belly filling out my T-shirt.  Fat roll!  What happen?  I knew I had to take control of this before it turned into something a lot worse, like diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, back problems, knee problems and the list just goes on and on.  So I began a new journey; not really a weight loss journey but a healthier living journey.  Over the next 2 years I lost 60# through exercise, eating right and seeking God’s purpose in my life.  I found several scriptures that inspired me.

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

61 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
    that have been devastated for generations.

I knew that I needed restored; renewed and rebuilt and that God wanted me to help other women who are struggling just like me understand that He wants to help them too.  Thank you Beth Moore!!  Breaking Free is a Bible study that Beth Moore wrote and I was doing at this same time in my life. Awesome!  You must do this study if you have not! Part of the restoring, renewing and rebuilding was understanding that God LOVES ME, and that HE created me for His purpose and that is why I fell in love with Psalms 139.  Psalms 139 is full of reinforcement from God telling me that He is all around, He never leaves me and that I was fearfully and wonderfully made by HIM.

Now, well actually the past couple months and mainly yesterday, all this came slamming in my face when I posted the pictures from our lock-in Friday night.  Like I said earlier, I am the photographer, I always have my camera, I always take the pictures, but I had some wonderful, like minded women helping me Friday night and they took pictures of all the activities which means they took pictures of ME!!  When I saw them I really could not believe what I was looking at, AGAIN!  NO, I am not back to 210# but, I have gained 30# in the last 3 years!  Stupid, stupid, stupid!!  How did I let this happen again!!!  Chips, diet Pepsi and eating supper after 7:00 p.m. every night are a few of the factors, but to be honest, the real factor is I am not walking with the Lord like I was when I lost the weight.  I would pray before I ate, asking that He would use this food to supply my body with what it needed.  I would pray during exercise class asking Him to continue to strengthen my body so I would be able to go and do whatever He needed me to for Him.  I would read His Word searching, craving and finding encouragement from Him.  I still exercise every day, I still pray every day, I still read His word, I still eat every day but the difference is, I am not doing these things with Him in mind!  I fell of the band wagon and decided I could do it all myself!  Oh how I forget!  Does this sound like someone else you know??  No, I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about the Children of Israel, God’s chosen.  They seemed to always forget God when things were going good and then call out for help when they are down.  Sounds like me!!

So here I am again!! Down! Heavier! But I am going to start over!  I am going to remember if God is not in it then it won’t work!  So I am leaving off the chips, diet soda, and I won’t be eating after 7 p.m. (unless it is a special occasion, you know, like a birthday party or family gathering).  I will be seeking God’s will in this journey again and I will lose this weight again and when I do…those of you reading this…remind me!  Remind me to keep God in the center!  Remind me that He has a plan for me!  Remind me…to stay on that wagon and hold on tight, because it is easy to get comfortable, and fall off again!

So here is what I eat yesterday:

5:00 a.m. on the way to exercise one banana

6:30 a.m. 20 ounces of water, after exercise

Noon a veggie salad from Subway without cheese or meat, with oil and vinegar

Lots more water

6:30 p. m. another banana

8:00 p.m. a bag of popcorn, I know!! It is after 7!!

Also, here is the picture from Mexico, maybe if I put it on here for all to see it will help motivate me too!